A New Life in Oregon

crater-carolyn

After my time in Steamboat Springs it was time for a new direction in my summer travels. I had planned to spend the rest of the summer in the Rocky Mountains in Colorado and Wyoming, But all my plans came to a sudden screeching halt because of two events and instead I suddenly drove 1000 miles out of my way, and through some very unpleasant heat, to disperse camp near Klamath Falls Oregon.

What could cause such erratic behavior–had I finally gone completely over the edge and stark raving mad? I suspect some of you have been waiting for this for a long time! Too late! I’m afraid that happened a long time ago and this was something very different!

I had two very good reasons to go to Oregon: 1) love of family and 2) the possibility of finding a new female traveling companion.

Let me explain.

First, I have a sister who has been living in Florida, so I only got to see her every few years when I flew there and visited my mom and her.   She just moved to Oregon so as soon as I heard that I made plans to get over and see her–but I’d intended to wait for the Fall when it cooled off because the whole country was scorching in a heat wave. So Oregon was in my travel plans, but not for several months, probably September or October.

Second, I had met a new woman and we were smitten by in each other. That must seem odd to those of you who have been following me for long because you know I already had a girlfriend for the last 3 years. What you don’t know is what a terrible boyfriend I had been. I am an emotionally distant person who does not connect easily with others. At the same time I believe that I have been called to (and have  happily embraced) a path that requires me to spend a great deal of time with others, and that takes a toll on me. I consider my work on the websites, Youtube and directly with the Tribe to be a sacred calling and duty . I do not in any way begrudge the large amount of my time that it requires, just the opposite, I derive an amazing amount of satisfaction and contentment from it. I literally get a “givers high” from it.

So the Tribe has taken a huge amount of my time and emotional capacity, leaving far too little for my girlfriend. She finally concluded she needed to be with someone who would put her first and not fit her in as I could. After the fiasco of the Flagstaff RTR, she finally broke up with me.

In retrospect I have nothing but the greatest admiration that she put up with me for as long as she did. We are very different people and my inflexibility made that a poison to our relationship.  One of the biggest is that I am risk-taker, I’ve never seen a bad road I wasn’t tempted to go down. Worse, I’m willing to push the limits of the law and risk run-ins with it–as was demonstrated at the RTR when they shut us down and I got a fine. Even more telling, that wasn’t the first time that summer a Ranger had been in our camp and forced us to move.

Those kinds of things were simply too far beyond her comfort zone–which is totally reasonable!

So at the Flagstaff RTR where there were 100 people packed in around her and the Rangers were being belligerent toward her (with me out visiting they found her and interrogated her pretty aggressively) and that was the straw that finally broke the camel’s back. She let me know that while we had some great times, it was just more than she could handle so we had to end our relationship. I understood totally  and have nothing but the deepest affection and admiration for her and only want her to be happy.

But something else happened at that RTR that may have drastically changed the course of my life. On Open-House day when I was out visiting everyone, I stopped at a rig and met a single woman that I felt an instant connection with–something that I had never, ever felt before in my life. We probably visited for an hour outside her rig and when I left I was terribly torn, on one hand I felt like I had finally met the woman of my dreams, but on the other there was no way I would ever do anything to hurt my current girlfriend. As bad as that felt, something worse was about to happen, and then out of that something good would come.

I had just left her camp when the Ranger found me and launched into his barrage of questions and accusations and finally ordered us out of camp by noon the next day. Just 5 minutes after I met this amazing woman, events were set in motion that would lead to the break up with my girlfriend.

What are the odds that just as I left the camp of someone who I had just met and was incredibly attracted and drawn to, that I would only minutes later run into circumstances that would quickly lead to me becoming a single man and no longer attached. Some would say that was all just a bizarre coincidence, pure luck–but I would not say that.

No, I have become a huge believer in a “Friendly Universe” and have tried hard to open my life up to it. Ever since I  did, coincidences like this one are what I have come to expect in my life. Yes, bad things still happen, but now I know to never assign labels to life’s events but to look for the good that is going to come from it.

 

I am convinced to the very core of my being that there is some “Incomprehensible Guiding Force,”  that directs those who are willing to simply be open to it’s flow in their lives. Very much like the Taoist concept of the “Tao” or the “Way.” While I don’t believe that everything happens for a reason, I do totally believe that if you will yield yourself as much as possible to that “Incomprehensible Guiding Force,” (whatever it may be–I have no idea) your life will be good.

tao-2

 

Here is everything I know for certain about life and spirituality; the first half of my life was dedicated to me working very hard to find my own way based on my best judgement, and my life was very bad. Because I was such a failure at it, in the second half of my life I’ve dedicated myself to not trying to find my own way! Instead, I’m devoted to yielding my will and my life to that Unknown Something.

Ever since I have truly followed that path, my life has been, very, very good. There is no question about which way works better for me, so I fully intend to continue along the path of yielding and flowing.

tao-water

After that RTR my new friend and I camped together  for a week near Williams, Arizona, and then she had to return to California to close up some business. It was obvious to both if us that something very special was going on between us, something unique that neither of us had experienced before.

After a couple weeks she had finished her business so I hit the road to meet her in Oregon where we could get to know each other and spend time with my sister.

The Three Sisters Mountains near our camp at Sisters, Oregon.

The Three Sisters Mountains near our camp at Sisters, Oregon.

We’ve been together a couple months now and we both remain in awe at our good fortune at finding each other at this time in our lives.  As much as possible we are proceeding slowly and carefully, each of us trying to learn from the many mistakes we’ve made.

One of the things we are trying to avoid is falling into the trap of using labels on our relationship. We want to treat each other as the totally unique individuals that we are, living our lives independently together in a way matches our distinctiveness.  No two couples will ever have the same strengths and weaknesses nor the baggage that is peculiar to our lives. Meshing all of that together can only be harmed by using  cookie-cutter labels that society imposes upon us to define male-female bonds.

So in future posts you’ll get to meet wonderful Carolyn and we’ll tell you all about our time in Oregon camping near Klamath falls, and Sisters. I’ll tell you my initial impressions about it as a place to spend your summer camping and where we’ve gone sightseeing and camping locations.

Because this is my first extended time camping in Oregon, I’d love to hear from you about good camping spots and where we can go to see beautiful places and  take great pictures! If you are in the area, our camp is always open to you and we’d love to have you drop by. In the meantime, get to know Carolyn by going to her RV blog at http://www.carolynsrvlife.com/ or check out her through-hike of the John Muir Trail at http://aloneonthejmt.com/

I’m making Videos on my good friends James YouTube Channel. See them here:

https://www.youtube.com/cheaprvliving

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Bob
About

I've been a full-time VanDweller for 12 years and I love it. I hope to never live in a house again!

58 comments on “A New Life in Oregon
  1. Wow, a lot of changes! I wish you the best Bob.

  2. Lucy says:

    BOB, congratulations, best of luck in this new relationship & be happy !

    My regards, Lucy.

  3. Calvin Rittenhouse says:

    That reads as a great example of following the flow. I share much of your belief, and I have come to understand that refusing to follow the energy I’m given is basically an argument with the Universe. Nobody wins that one.

    I look forward to your posts on your new adventures.

  4. Canine says:

    It is interesting how life happens. Hopefully, we will see Judy around now and again. 🙂 Carolyn has some talent taking pictures; her website is visually appealing.

  5. Poprouge says:

    Such an amazingly positive outlook. Thanks for sharing it made me smile. Best of luck!

  6. Lois says:

    Awesome post, Bob. I, too, share much of your own beliefs and it is a true wonder to me how life flows so much more smoothly when I remember to be like the water that’s making its way from the mountains to the ocean. Thanks for the reminder 😀

    Will you be staying in southern Oregon near Crater Lake or traveling farther north? There are many places near Grants Pass, Eugene, Salem, such as the Rogue River, the Mackenzie River, Silver Falls, etc. that are worth stopping to see if you’re heading that way.

    Happy trails to you!

    — Lois

    • Bob Bob says:

      Lois, we will be in OR until after labor day and then probably head up to WA to visit friends. October and NOV will be in OR also. Bob

  7. Scott says:

    Hi Bob,
    I am new on here for commenting, but have been following you for a while now. We (Karen and I) will be full timing starting in October 2017. We will be heading out from Nassau, New York, just SE of Albany. I have lived in Bend Oregon twice and love the region. In fact I have explored Eastern Oregon extensively, so I can give you many ideas on places to visit. The first I will mention is the Ochoco Mountains and on the other side of them, the John Day Fossil Beds, especially the Painted Hills. Sunrise and sunset there is absolutely stunning. I will post soon with many more ideas and special places.

    • Bob Bob says:

      Scott, that works well because I plan to be here through November and we will want a warm dry place to camp. That sounds perfect!
      Thanks Bob

  8. joe says:

    Good for you I have some of the same issues in my past sour relationship I now am alone and 56 yrs old but life goes on for all of us I sorta like being with myself any way ND I just cannot afford a lady friend because I cannot afford myself money suckered and it seems everything is connected to it even a lady ,but enough of me I am glad you found someone as much as you travel you are bound to connect with someone and you did I do hope you find happiness bob and you will a special lady can be a challenge so happy trails To you and your new friend, oh and by the way are you still heading to your winter spot or staying in Oregon take care for now

    • Bob Bob says:

      Joe, we are planning to have Thanksgiving at my Sisters in OR, my mom and son will fly in. So I’ll probably be here until then, and then go down to the Quartzsite area around December 1. See you then!
      Bb

  9. margo says:

    good boy friend or bad boy friend who cares? when one becomes older
    (i’m not saying your old :)) but you are beyond the point where you have obligations to other grown-ups to change what or how you are. it is a wonderful thing to keep trying to be a better person and as a older than you are person (i think) the hardest thing for me to learn was to accept my friends for who and what they are and take what they are capable of giving and if it isn’t enough to move on. it sounds to me like you and judy had a good run and she was able to move on when necessary. what she did was give you both more time to get on with your lives and god knows that the older you get the less time you have, so do her and yourself the honor of living your life with JOY something that you both have coming.

  10. I can totally empathize with your situation. I have been quietly following you for some time. You and I have an extraordinary amount of common thoughts, ideals and ways of dealing with so many of life’s challenges. I envy your discovery in Carolyn and I truly wish you both the best.

    Renovating my van now and fully intend to meet you at the winter RTR.

  11. Hunter says:

    Dear Bob,
    Congrats! Would you please publish your current inventory-gear list?
    blessings
    hunter

  12. Rob says:

    I understand what happened completely. Life is full of surprises & that one was a good one!

  13. Maia says:

    Wishing you all the best! I appreciate everything you’ve given to the world. I share your Friendly Universe philosophy. Looking forward to hearing more about how that plays out in your life.

  14. Queen says:

    Pretty amazing when you find the one you can connect with at the “I think I knew you in another life” level. Good stuff, happy for you Bob.

  15. David Michael says:

    Thanks for sharing Bob. So happy for you and Carolyn.

    I served as a camp host a few summers ago in charge of seven campgrounds on the Metolius River near Sisters, OR, one of my favorite areas in the state. Lots of public campsites on the west side for decent prices with Golden Age Pass, but more challenging to find free campsites. Eastern Oregon has unlimited spaces, however, so you will have few problems.

    After seven years full-timing we returned to Eugene but miss the lifestyle. I recently purchased a Promaster cargo van to convert to camper. A great summer project. So…welcome to Oregon! Hope to see you on the road.

    • Bob Bob says:

      Thanks David. We are in the Deschutes, NF about 5 miles from Sisters and there is a huge amount of empty forest her with nobody in it. Probably the least amount of traffic of any forest I’ve ever been in. Bob

  16. Whew! Glad I don’t have to keep that secret anymore.

  17. Ur.a.hypocrite/asshole says:

    What is it with you crypto-new age types that makes you think every little tick of emotion you have has some kind of cosmic consequence? You leave a trail of tears, divorce, broken relationships, people you’ve left behind. Face up to the fact you’re a user, a miserable use of people.

    • Bob Bob says:

      I’m extremely careful to live in such a way that people like you who love to accuse will have no evidence or basis for their accusations or hatred. Haters just gonna hate, they don’t need a reason or evidence.
      Bob

  18. Patrise says:

    Congratulations, Bob, and thank you for the good example of trusting the Universe. I’m living that life, but its oft a bumpy road for me.(and not the fun kind!)
    I learned this from a wise friend:
    ‘I experience fear because I’ve forgotten who I am: one with the Universe. If I focus on what is truly mine to do, and let go of trying to control the reset, my fear disappears. ‘

    Blessings on your travels, and thank you for sharing your story

  19. George says:

    I hope you gave Judy a heads up before publishing this post.

    • judy says:

      George, he did not.
      However when I told Bob that I could no longer be his girlfriend, he did let me know that he’d met and was strongly attracted to Carolyn and wanted to get to know her better. My honest and instant reaction to him was: “Bob, I am so Happy for you!” and then to myself: Yea! I don’t have to feel badly about my abrupt departure from his life. And just like that we both moved on, no tears; no regrets, only great memories and a warm spot in my heart for the dear man who allowed me to share his camp and be a part of his life.

  20. Tina says:

    Hey Bob,

    It is interesting how the universe works sometimes. If things had gone as planned then your life might not be on this new path. 🙂

    Wishing you all the best on this new journey. Really digging Carolyn’s blog and story, I can related to different things she has gone through. She’s out in my neck of the woods in CA.

    Enjoy the upcoming fall season,

    Tina

    • Bob Bob says:

      Tina, never in a million years would I ever have thought my life would turn out like it has. I could NEVER have been smart, wise or good enough to plan this!!! That’s why I try hard to not control my life, someone or something is doing a much better job than I could ever do!!!!!!!!
      Bob

  21. Cindy says:

    Congrats on your new relationship! They are fun.
    Cindy

  22. Jeff Smith says:

    Hello Bob,

    Congrats on the new relationship. I’ll have to check out the links you provided to her blog. I have been in Oregon too the past 4 weeks and am enjoying the Oregon coast. I was in Klamath Falls for a week back in July and found this spot.

    https://www.google.com/maps/place/42%C2%B024'39.0%22N+121%C2%B057'22.1%22W/@42.4108429,-121.9583136,873m/data=!3m2!1e3!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x0:0x0!8m2!3d42.410839!4d-121.956134?pageId=109495693384935642641

    It is a great spot on Upper Klamath Lake. You can see my YouTube video to see what it looks like first hand.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JjTj6nYFmA

    Astoria, Cascade Locks, and Mt. Saint Helens are planned over the next couple of weeks. Are you close to those? I thought about going to Sisters/Bend/Klamath Falls on my way back down. Depends if it is still hot in the interior after Labor Day. If so, then I am just going to go back down the coast. Let me know if I am close and we can perhaps meet up for coffee and chat or I will catch you down at RTR in January.

    Cheers and Live Simple & Enjoy Life!

    Jeff

    • Bob Bob says:

      Jeff, I am still in the area around Sisters. The big cooldown has finally hit and the temperatures appear to be very good for at least the next 10 days. The coast is too crowded for me. When I wake up I don’t want to see anyone or any man-made thing that I didn’t invite to camp with me. My current camp has the least traffic and the fewest people I have ever had nearby.

      If you are nearby, give me an email.
      Bob

      • Jeff says:

        Hello Bob,

        Yes, the coast is very crowded. Too much so on the weekends for myself, especially the Northern half with everyone coming over from the valley and Portland.

        I’ll drop you an email over Labor Day Weekend once I figure out where I am headed next after Cascade Locks/Mt. Saint Helens. Take care!

        Jeff

  23. Wayne (Wirs) says:

    You know I’m a mystic Bob (and a Taoist), but what you may not know is what converted me from an atheist to a mystic: The “universe” that you and many of the commenters here have spoken of—the qualities you attribute to it—requires an Intelligence. Once I realized this, I dropped the atheist facade and an entire capital-U Universe opened up before me. I was never the same again.

    The Tao that can be named is not the enteral Tao.

    All the best to you and Carolyn.

    • Bob Bob says:

      Of course I 100% agree and I’m a total believe in Intelligent Design.

      To me it’s this simple, until science can offer some kind of reasonable explanation for the information contained in DNA, it will remain totally obvious to me that an intelligence was required to write the code. Science has offered dozens of explanations, but all have been proven false by science. There is no possible explanation for the chemical structure of DNA, much less the incredible code it contains.
      Bob

  24. Roxy says:

    I’m truly very happy for you…I’ve pretty much given up on meeting someone at my age…LOL… and you’re older than me, so maybe there is hope after all. 🙂 Good luck to you both, and enjoy Oregon, it is a fantastic place. I actually saw a wolf (yes, it really was a wolf) in the mountains by Three Sisters, Oregon, so keep you’re eyes peeled. The coast is incredibly breathtaking, but very hard to find free camping. Good luck.

  25. Phyllis St.Cyr says:

    The best to you all!!

  26. Gayle says:

    As usual Bob…I am much inspired by your travels and adventures and this being one with the most JOY! I can feel the good energy in your writing and since most of us feel as though we have known you for years (giving due respect to your privacy of course)…wishing you the most magnificent journey..whatever that brings. And as always..”keep on keepin’ on”!! Looking forward to the day when Jeff and I can meet you to shake your hand.

  27. Bob,

    You are a wise and fortunate man. Congratulations on finding Carolyn. May your paths follow long and joyfully.

  28. MattK says:

    OMG your new companion Carolyn looks so much like my wife in that picture I had to run upstairs to make sure she was still here! Although we are about 3000 miles away. I guess we both have great taste. Cheers🙂

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