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having issues being alone
#1
Hi Guys,

I was just wondering if anyone else is having the same issues as I do. I live in my Van and I really miss someone around me. I lived with my girlfriend for over 4 years, we are still together but I felt like I needed to change my life a little and decide to go off the grid in my van.

I'm fine throughout the week as I have to work, but I am pretty lonely over the weekends. I am so use to being with her that its hard for me to take road trips by my self, now I have a free weekend where my trip to Germany got canceled and my girlfriend already made plans.

Last time I took a trip by my self I was pretty lonely and dont think I enjoyed it as much as I would with someone else.

Anyone having the same issues...perhaps because I'm fresh off the grid so I need to get over certain things.
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#2
If you let others know where you are there may be full timers near by to hang with
I'd like to give myself a few negative ratings, because I am such a big meanie. The forum won't allow it. Feel free!

Cyndi (made it across the cattle guard)
http://rvlyeverafter.blogspot.com/

"I reject your reality and substitute my own."
~ Adam Savage
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#3
Same thing happened to me last summer. I was going to take a roadtrip vacation with my GF for a week. But at the last minute, something urgent came up for her so she had to cancel. Since I already had a week off for vacation, I decided to simply go out on my own. I ended up travelling several hours from home and hung out at fishing lakes to learn fishing. I had a bunch of newly purchased fishing gear at the time, and that was my goal to learn how to fish. I ended up spending my days with other fishermen who were friendly with their advice, and simply hung out with them as they teached me the basics of fishing. During the evenings, I hung out at Starbucks and felt comfortable being with others sitting by themselves all wrapped up with their laptops and earphones. The next day, I would get up and do it all over again, hanging out with fisherman by day and Starbucks by evening. Somewhere in between I'd go out for dinner somewhere and then walk around to explore. I did this for a total of 9 days and actually enjoyed myself. It's nice to have a GF to accompany you, but it's also good to spend "alone" time on your own every so often. Give yourself a chance to miss each other by being away.
Trying to live a simpler life one day at a time...
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#4
There are all kinds of local events listings online. For example maybe you can find a county fair 50 miles away...
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#5
Currently splitting from the future ex- and am more and more enjoying time alone as I ease into vandwelling life. Two months sleeping in the van and I find myself spending less time inside, more time in the van. Also not minding being alone at the old house without her.

I can definitely see where the OP is coming from, been there. Takes a bit of time and emotion to adjust to a different living situation. Find stuff to do -- I'm a reader, read books all through our relationship, but now I have even more time to read and am taking advantage of it. What floats your boat that you can do more of?

Time also has an opportunity cost. What could you rather be doing when she's not around...?
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#6
I do like being alone. But, I especially like being alone with other people who like being alone. Earlier this year, when I was in the US dessert SW among other vandwellers (camping many yards apart from each other) someone called us a "gathering of introverts." I thought that was an apt description. Humans are by nature social creatures; so, it makes sense that most of us need contact. For some, interacting online is enough. Others need the face-to-face.

Sometimes when I'm truly alone and need company, I seek out my own. Writing is a good way to get to know yourself.

Suanne
Solo travel in a Prius -- SuanneOnline.blogspot.com
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#7
the nice part of being alone......you can really find yourself!! Take time everyday to take a walk with yourself and answer or work on your questions.

concentrate on nature and it will concentrate on you.........I know this sounds like a speech , but you have allowed yourself to become co-dependent and have really lost touch with yourself.....take time for you and it will all work out
Live ,Breath , Relax.....life is a one time eventRolleyes
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#8
I can relate to you a great deal.

Much of my isolation was and is self imposed. Partly as an escape from the chaos of the world and partly because it's just who I am. But i often get lost on my path and lost in my mind. Having a wife and kids around eases some of the pain but the biggest emptiness is a lack of intellectual conversation. I'm alone in a crowded room. I always have been and am trying to accept I always will be. To unload a million thoughts and have someone bounce the world back to me would be my first wish from the wishing tree. I live in a crowded cavernous mind. But don't we all crave people?

That being said if you have not spent a considerable amount of time alone I would very strongly suggest doing so. For many cultures throughout history it has been remarkably important for young men to be alone for extended periods of time. You're not going on a vision quest but maybe you are.

Perhaps filling your day with a schedule and a routine would keep you company. Plan interesting day trips to neat locations that involve people. Or you could find opportunity in volunteering your time. You could find interesting lectures, historical speeches, or other things and walk around and listen to them. You could get a pet. My dog is pretty good company. She is also busy on weekends though. I used to volunteer at a historical restoration type of project and that was pretty awesome to me.

You can always wander around a park and pretend your from the past. Interesting things will happen to you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WibmcsEGLKo

Our greatest happiness does not depend on the condition of life in which chance has placed us, but is always the result of a good conscience, good health, occupation, and freedom in all just pursuits. - Thomas Jefferson

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#9
Being alone isn't so bad if you like yourself.
Still, one needs to have a life. Surely, you have activities you enjoy. If not, I recommend you explore some options. Find things or groups who are active that interest you. Read those books you've always thought of reading. Go fishing, or whatever.

Margie and I are together a lot, but there are times we're thankful for time to follow our own paths.

BTW...If she sees you having a great time and bragging about the fun you're having maybe she will wanna be around more often.


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Jay and Margie. 92 Dodge Maxi van. 300 watts Renogy solar, 2X 6volt deep cycle @ 230Ah.

May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. ~Edward Abbey
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#10
I'm never alone, my dogs are the best company a woman could ever ask for.
A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour
http://middleagedworkamper.blogspot.com/
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