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having issues being alone
#11
Hey, Fisher473, I've never felt intensely lonely since getting a dog a number of years ago. In fact, sometimes I need to get away from my dog so I can feel some solitude. So put me down as one more vote for a dog solving the problem of loneliness...for me.

But...people are different in terms of how much alone time they like. One of the best-researched personality variables is extroversion vs. introversion.
Some people need others around a lot, and some people need an extraordinary amount of solitude...and some people are somewhere in the middle. My advice is to listen to what your own mind, heart, and spirit--and your past experience with yourself--are telling you about how much company and solitude are good for you. Don't measure yourself by what works for others and therefore assume that you should be able to learn to be comfortable doing what certain others do.

My guess is that among van-dwellers (as opposed to those in large RVs, where there's often easy room for more than one person) there's a higher percentage of introverts than there is in the overall population...but it's also clear that some van dwellers, including some on this forum, are quite extroverted.

The good news for extroverts is that most people like company, and there are always places to go to interact with people.

Good luck,
GP
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#12
For whatever reason most all of my roaming has been by myself. I can remember being a kid looking at the road map and thinking of all the places I would like to visit but even then my daydreams were of solo adventures.

I often have a longing to share my experiences with someone but have also been the victim of being trapped for the duration of a trip with a incompatible companion. An example of that is my ability to browse an interesting museum for a whole day or maybe two while someone else might have had enough in an hour. Maybe being comfortable by oneself is something that you are born with.

Good luck on your journey.

Guy
"We're all bozos on the bus, so might as well sit back and enjoy the ride."

Wavy Gravy

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Snowbunny (01-22-2016)
#13
OP-

The trick is to not "feel lonely" when alone. Realizing that "I am a whole complete person." That doesn't mean being a hermit or living in solitary.

Suggestions (not to be taken literally):
1. Join a cult or other group where you never 24x7 with others. When you have had enough togetherness, then embrace the joy of solitude.

2. Get into a relationship with a control freak. Enjoy doing simple tasks in your own way without constant feedback.

Real suggestion:
Get out of the van, look around, go for a walk, observe. Breathe. Process the loss of relationship. Move on. Repeat as necessary.

-Wayne
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rina (11-12-2016), Fearnoevil (08-03-2014)
#14
(07-02-2014, 03:38 PM)Drifted_Cowboy Wrote: To unload a million thoughts and have someone bounce the world back to me would be my first wish from the wishing tree.

yes. very well said...
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#15
Quote:I'm never alone, my dogs are the best company a woman could ever ask for.

X2, decodancer!
 [Image: Updated%20sig%20pic.jpg]
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#16
(07-02-2014, 12:31 PM)Suanne Wrote: I do like being alone. But, I especially like being alone with other people who like being alone. Earlier this year, when I was in the US dessert SW among other vandwellers (camping many yards apart from each other) someone called us a "gathering of introverts." I thought that was an apt description. Humans are by nature social creatures; so, it makes sense that most of us need contact. For some, interacting online is enough. Others need the face-to-face.

Sometimes when I'm truly alone and need company, I seek out my own. Writing is a good way to get to know yourself.

Suanne

I second this wholeheartedly. I only like being with other people if they leave me alone!

It also reminded me of a t-shirt I saw on ThinkGeek

http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/c9ba/

[Image: c9ba_social_interaction.jpg]
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#17
There's another side to this. Sometimes,I would like to be alone. I like my own company. Although mostly this lifestyle is good, but there can be too much togetherness. When we eventually get back to Florida, I am going back to work for a while.

Wolf is a social butterfly. I am more of a hermit. If he is out socializing, he will come and drag me away from whatever I am happily doing to join the group. I enjoy talking to people, just not every bloody waking hour.

If he needs to go to Napa Auto, he wants me to come along. If I am going to Walmart to buy socks, he wants to come along. Without his workshop and his neighbor buddies, he wants me to amuse him. There are times when it is a very good thing that I don't know where he put his gun.
Jean, with hubby and Whiz, the sort-of-bichon, in a 2008 32 ft Gulfstream Independence with a Ford Fiesta dinghy.
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#18
Ham radio is a great way to not be lonely. You're talking with people, and you do it when you want to.
Its better to learn to live cheap, than it is to work and save enough money so you don't have to.
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#19
In 19th century English If a person was well endowed/ wealthy and a land owner the custom was to hire a hermit and to establish him/her in a small hamlet. After tea and crumpets would offer a horse ride through my LAND. Discover the Hermit and be invited in for tea, I had no idea these people were living on my land? Gotta job?
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#20
Maybe it's to do with getting older, but I savor the times I'm alone. I'm a recluse, but I'm not a total recluse. I enjoy the company of people, just not too much company...
Andrew
Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for dinner. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote. -- Benjamin Franklin (attrib.)
[Image: RVNsvc1966.jpg]
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