Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 4 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
having issues being alone
#21
I've been full-timing for 12-years. I have spent a lot of that time traveling with someone, but in the past few years I've spent a lot of time on my own. Months on end at times (I'm usually around people in the day time when I'm in one location for a while when working a job) and because I boondock 98% of the time, I don't have people around me, like you would camping in a campground. I've learned to make the most of this time alone... let's face it, when you're alone things are much simpler. You can go where you want, when you want, do things how you want to etc. If you want to sit for hours and wait for a Great Horned Owl to wake up at the end of the day, you can. There is no pressure to go, do, see, eat, and so on. I can be totally selfish without offending anyone. However, there are times I miss companionship; sometimes being alone limits my recreation to relatively 'safe' hiking (no technical slot canyons when I'm on my own)... and those 14 1/2 hour nights in winter.... yes, they can be long and lonely. What works for me best is to have a full schedule during the day. Visit everything you can, hike every trail you can, move around a lot (even if its only 2-miles to a different spot, with a different view, different wildlife), and when night comes around, have a fire if you can and play music...the kind that helps to lift the spirit. If you're out in the middle of nowhere, with no one around, you can dance as dorky or as wild as you like, because there is no one to see you. These things really help to keep my mind focused on the amazing world surrounding my rig, rather than my loneliness. The campfire is a great mood lifter, along with the music, I try for one every two or three nights in winter... sometimes the campfire become my best friend.
~ Insatiable is Not Sustainable ~ (Chevy AWD Astro Van with a 3" body lift, oversized tires and white in color; goes by the name of Studley Van)
Add Thank You Reply
The following 5 users say Thank You to NomadforNature for this post:
Electric Mayhem (06-13-2017), mayble (01-20-2016), BigT (01-17-2016), bigsallysmom (01-16-2016), Rugster (01-16-2016)
#22
And you can have a dog too. Some have a great four legged companion. Others have a cat.
Add Thank You Reply
#23
Hey! Don't feel bad! Do you have family or other relatives that you are able to talk to? I found that when I was depressed, I would talk to a close friend, and that worked!
Add Thank You Reply
#24
I enjoyed reading everybody's post. A book that changed my life and really helped me to learn how to be still and embrace the moment is Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth. A friend gave it to me as a gift several years ago. It's the kind of book that when you begin reading you continue because it's speaking to you and you are ready for it, or it seems to "new age" or "hippy," which means you aren't ready for it, and perhaps never will be.

Anyway, I shared this because even though I enjoy people, I've come to the conclusion that I am an introverted soul in an outgoing person's body. If I'm in the right frame of mind, the right kind of mood, I can chat about pretty much anything for hours on end and be sincere about the action of socializing, but the majority of the time, I am extroverted out of obligation i.e. at a friends party, celebrating holidays with family or friends, a particular date. It seems that I'm happiest when I'm occupied with whatever I'm doing and I'm embracing the experience. No judgement is going on. Whatever is going on isn't "right" or "wrong." It just is. I've learned that when I embrace the moment, whether I'm washing dishes or talking with a friend, it's almost always an enjoyable experience, because I'm entering it open to all the possibilities, without judging, without an agenda, without an expectation or an outcome. It makes a world of difference in how the experience unfolds in your mind. 

Although I spend probably 80% of the time by myself, I never feel lonely. I embrace the experience of being alone, accepting it for exactly what it is, being alone. Because I don't judge my state of being, I can't label the experience of being by myself anything but, I'm experiencing of being by myself.

Perhaps you might try this yourself. Every day, just embrace everything that is going on, even physical pain if need be, understanding that the experience is just than the experience, and you will find yourself so much happier in all situations, not just when you are alone, because you are letting yourself embrace the moment. It's amazing the sense of empowerment and transformation that occurs when a person does this throughout the day.

I hope this was helpful.
Maxine, my 2015 Chevrolet 2500, Express van - Camperized
Designed by me, built by El Kapitan, O.C. CA

Add Thank You Reply
The following 1 user says Thank You to Luciano151 for this post:
Peaceseeker (05-29-2016)
#25
(07-02-2014, 09:58 AM)Fisher473 Wrote: Hi Guys,

I was just wondering if anyone else is having the same issues as I do. I live in my Van and I really miss someone around me. I lived with my girlfriend for over 4 years, we are still together but I felt like I needed to change my life a little and decide to go off the grid in my van.

I'm fine throughout the week as I have to work, but I am pretty lonely over the weekends. I am so use to being with her that its hard for me to take road trips by my self, now I have a free weekend where my trip to Germany got canceled and my girlfriend already made plans.

Last time I took a trip by my self I was pretty lonely and dont think I enjoyed it as much as I would with someone else.

Anyone having the same issues...perhaps because I'm fresh off the grid so I need to get over certain things.

Simple solution...Go to the Summer RTR in Flagstaff and meet people that you can be friends with and camp/live with....You know, Comrades...
Since my first RTR...three years ago I spend a lot of time during the year camping/living with friends. I just spent the last seven months with small group that took me from Ehrenberg, Cottonwood, Winslow and Cortez, Colorado and back to Flagstaff. Although we have parted ways as one was returning to the East Coast and others had to start Summer jobs and I am now camping/living with just me and Mr. Pico here in the 'trees'....Soon 'friends' will arrive in Flagstaff and I will have company again. UNDERSTAND...we are not that social that we hang-out a lot together. May be a morning walk and an evening chat..that is the most of it. However, it is most comforting to have someone you know at a distance...
Add Thank You Reply
The following 2 users say Thank You to Sameer for this post:
AlreadyGone (03-24-2017), mayble (05-31-2016)
#26
(07-19-2014, 09:27 PM)anm Wrote: Maybe it's to do with getting older, but I savor the times I'm alone. I'm a recluse, but I'm not a total recluse. I enjoy the company of people, just not too much company...
Agreed! 

In my early 20s before I had kids, I spent a couple of years in LA working downtown.  I was once interviewed in a 'man on the street' type situation.  The question they were asking:  "What do you fear most about getting old?".  My answer: "Being alone".

It's actually funny to me now. (62)  If only I'd know THEN what I know (learned the hard way?)Smile
Someone mentioned the 'co-dependent word'.  Yeah. Maybe/sort of.  I once had a relationship that was so intense that when we broke up, I thought I was broken.  I fumbled around not knowing what to do with myself (spent entirely too much time on phone/texting, etc.w/ex).  It took a little while, but I realized this was SICK, and that I was just not having it.  Or maybe it was just a bad habit.  Anyway, I set my mind to go on and get over.

I think rather than co dependence, we sometimes just get entirely too HABITUAL.  Habits.  You know what they say about those things and  how hard they are to break! 

My advice would be to just ReLearn, every day, how to LIVE your life.  It requires being In the Moment, letting yourself Think, play, even if just in your head.  Understand?  ANYWAY..

Glad I got over it.  I DO like having someone nearby if I get into trouble, but Good Sam Road Side Assistance, and 'my little friend' go a longway to keep fears at bay. (ALso, a big bag of money would be seriously cool and calming.. but I digress)!Smile
 Heart My YouTube Channel all about my 'trip' (because "journey" is so overused!)  Heart

Static '04 Wilderness Advantage 36.5 + Road-ready '06 Toyota Sienna + Project Granny Cabin

Add Thank You Reply
The following 1 user says Thank You to cherterr for this post:
rvpopeye (05-29-2016)
#27
(07-19-2014, 09:27 PM)anm Wrote: Maybe it's to do with getting older, but I savor the times I'm alone. I'm a recluse, but I'm not a total recluse. I enjoy the company of people, just not too much company...
Agreed! 

In my early 20s before I had kids, I spent a couple of years in LA working downtown.  I was once interviewed in a 'man on the street' type situation.  The question they were asking:  "What do you fear most about getting old?".  My answer: "Being alone".

It's actually funny to me now. (62)  If only I'd known THEN what I know (learned the hard way?)Smile
Someone mentioned the 'co-dependent word'.  Yeah. Maybe/sort of.  I once had a relationship that was so intense that when we broke up, I thought I was broken.  I fumbled around not knowing what to do with myself (spent entirely too much time on phone/texting, etc.w/ex).  It took a little while, but I realized this was SICK, and that I was just not having it.  Or maybe it was just a bad habit.  Anyway, I set my mind to go on and get over. No more 'dependence'!!

I think rather than co dependence, we sometimes just get entirely too HABITUAL.  Habits.  You know what they say about those things and  how hard they are to break! 

My advice would be to just ReLearn, every day, how to LIVE your life.  It requires being In the Moment, letting yourself Think, play, even if just in your head.  Understand?  ANYWAY..

Glad I got over it.  I DO like having someone nearby if I get into trouble, but Good Sam Road Side Assistance, and 'my little friend' go a longway to keep fears at bay. (ALso, a big bag of money would be seriously cool and calming.. but I digress)!Smile
 Heart My YouTube Channel all about my 'trip' (because "journey" is so overused!)  Heart

Static '04 Wilderness Advantage 36.5 + Road-ready '06 Toyota Sienna + Project Granny Cabin

Add Thank You Reply
#28
I'm a disabled veterans and for very obvious reason I enjoy to be alone.   I traveled alone for many years and I felt pretty good about it.  My daughter even made me a teddy bear "Teddy" so I had some company.   Talking to the bear is not bad or but when you ask questions and the bear answer or the bear ask question and you answer is time for civilization (usually about 6 weeks overlanding with no one around and no cellphone and radio to listen will do it)  The saddest part is see the most beautiful things in life and having no one to shared with.   Well October came around and I gained girlfriend and a military Service Dog.    My girlfriend is great, because I knew her for over 30 years, so she is more like a great friend,  She is widower and have income and she is the "roll with the punches type of gal" So we decided to prepare a van and we are currently working together on that project and she is more eager than me and is very excited about it.   She is loner herself and like me she enjoy simplicity and between both us we have a great income.   This year were are going to take a about three months on the road.   Next year we are heading to Alaska in a slow moving trip.
1986 Chevrolet G30 Hi-Cube Van (6.2 Diesel with a TH400 3 sp Auto)
2007 Nissan Xterra (4.0, 5 sp auto, 4wd)
2012 Triumph America 856cc, 5 sp m(MC)
2004 Jeep Wrangler (4.0 , 5 sp m, 4wd )
2014 Little Guy MY POD Trailer

"If life give you lemons, find someone else who life gave them vodka and have a party" Big Grin
Add Thank You Reply
#29
great story cat. I wish you and your girl friend all the best. but most of all thank you for your service. maybe one day our paths will cross. highdesertranger
Add Thank You Reply
The following 1 user says Thank You to highdesertranger for this post:
arctic cat (05-30-2016)
#30
I enjoy being alone most of the time, I do not enjoy large groups or loud conversations. I too am a retired/disabled Veteran, not sure that matters, in most places that and 3 dollars might buy a cup of coffee. There are very few in my 'Inner circle' , the ones who know my weaknesses and know when to let me be alone. There are times I do enjoy company, especially with like minded folks who are honest and forthright. I have no problems making decisions, but there are times that I want someone else's input to see how bad I am screwing up. I love seeing my kids and grandkids show up, and I enjoy them driving away.

I enjoy my own company and have for quite some time. I had to go to a Urologist last week, seems I had some blood in my urine which was a cause of concern since I am on blood thinners and that's a bad sign. Turns out the blood test was from 2012 and my fine Primary Care doctor misread my chart. Confidence inspiring. Not. Then she ( am sure I will sound a bit sexist but as a guy I would rather have a male urologist) starts asking about my sex life and did I want The Blue Pill. Nope and Nope.

I hope your doubts and concerns are addressed and you get out there and enjoy life to it's fullest. No matter how you do it.. Gunny Rob.

A long winded and rambling way of saying being alone is not unusual but wanting company or conversation at times is normal too.
Add Thank You Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)

Powered By MyBB, © 2002-2018 MyBB Group.