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having issues being alone
#31
that thank you was meant for all you guy and gals that served. so thank you gunny. highdesertranger
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Gunny (05-30-2016)
#32
(05-30-2016, 08:16 PM)highdesertranger Wrote: great story cat.  I wish you and your girl friend all the best.  but most of all thank you for your service.   maybe one day our paths will cross.  highdesertranger
Hopefully sooner than later.
1986 Chevrolet G30 Hi-Cube Van (6.2 Diesel with a TH400 3 sp Auto)
2007 Nissan Xterra (4.0, 5 sp auto, 4wd)
2012 Triumph America 856cc, 5 sp m(MC)
2004 Jeep Wrangler (4.0 , 5 sp m, 4wd )
2014 Little Guy MY POD Trailer

"If life give you lemons, find someone else who life gave them vodka and have a party" Big Grin
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#33
Speaking as a representative of the Legion of Loners, the social club of the Institute of Introverts, I think everyone should learn how to be alone. Extroverts and socially active people get energy, validation and distraction from others, making them dependent rather than independent. People are their addiction. Or at least certain people are. If someone doesn't know what to do alone, or can't enjoy doing it alone, then they've limited their horizons. The more they can do alone, the larger their lives will be, because it increases options. The extrovert says, "If no one can come with me, I won't go either." The introvert says, "If no one can come with me, I'll go anyway. And enjoy it." Wink
Someone wanted me to put this here: http://rollingsteeltent.blogspot.com/
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rondaj (05-31-2016), mayble (05-31-2016), arctic cat (05-31-2016)
#34
lol.....Legion of Loners......classic.

For the most part, I agree with you. Most people that are really extroverted thrive on having people around them. On the contrary, members of the Legion of Loners often find themselves getting sucked dry by so much social stimulation. I'm a little bit of both, so for the most part I can straddle the line. However, between choosing a party with a bunch of friends or reading a good novel, the novel will win 90% of the time.
Maxine, my 2015 Chevrolet 2500, Express van - Camperized
Designed by me, built by El Kapitan, O.C. CA

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#35
(05-31-2016, 08:06 AM)MrNoodly Wrote: Speaking as a representative of the Legion of Loners, the social club of the Institute of Introverts, I think everyone should learn how to be alone. Extroverts and socially active people get energy, validation and distraction from others, making them dependent rather than independent. People are their addiction. Or at least certain people are. If someone doesn't know what to do alone, or can't enjoy doing it alone, then they've limited their horizons. The more they can do alone, the larger their lives will be, because it increases options. The extrovert says, "If no one can come with me, I won't go either." The introvert says, "If no one can come with me, I'll go anyway. And enjoy it." Wink

That is the silliest thing I have ever read about extroverts...we are not afraid of social situation nor is it something that we crave. We enjoy the physical and social world. We do not have fears of being alone and can live/camp with others with out anxiety and mental anguish.. I respect those who want to be part of the Legion of loners. We extroverts look at introverts as a little bit too self-absorbed..too concerned with the Self. Human-beings are social animals.
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#36
Being forced to socialize stresses me out.

I always seem to be plotting my escape without being insulting to those, who for some unknown reason, want my company.

I don't enjoy being the master of the awkward silence.
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#37
(05-31-2016, 09:45 AM)Sameer Wrote: That is the silliest thing I have ever read about extroverts...we are not afraid of social situation nor is it something that we crave.  We enjoy the physical and social world.  We do not have fears of being alone and can live/camp  with others with out anxiety and mental anguish..  I respect those who want to be part of the Legion of loners.  We extroverts look at introverts as a little bit too self-absorbed..too concerned with the Self.  Human-beings are social animals.
Some people suffer from certain diseases such as PTSD, while I can socialized with people at times, I keep to myself for your protection as well as mine.   I do take offense at the "little too asorbed too concerned for with self" comment.  Maybe it take to do 6, one year each combat tour to understand that, something that you probably haven't done.   I do socialized with people and even tell great jokes and make people laugh, I just can't do it for extended period of times.  Trying to make fun or insulting other with a diseases I don't believe is a way to go, my friend. Fortunately we lived in great country with freedom of speech where you can express your opinion and your upinion is respected.  Opinions BTW are like buttholes, we all got one of those, right?   That and $3 get us a cup of coffee. Have wonderful day my friend!!! Heart
1986 Chevrolet G30 Hi-Cube Van (6.2 Diesel with a TH400 3 sp Auto)
2007 Nissan Xterra (4.0, 5 sp auto, 4wd)
2012 Triumph America 856cc, 5 sp m(MC)
2004 Jeep Wrangler (4.0 , 5 sp m, 4wd )
2014 Little Guy MY POD Trailer

"If life give you lemons, find someone else who life gave them vodka and have a party" Big Grin
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#38
As usual, I am a day late :-(  Thanks to all armed forces personnel for your service.

Back to topic:

Yes, we are social animals and need others company (at times).  Isn't this what the RTR is really for?  We also need alone time (at least I do).  I do not go to the evening campfires as there are way too many people for my comfort.  I would rather have a small campfire and have one or two people to talk to over some good brown water or beer or not.  I have no problem meeting neighbors and have a friendly chat or lively discussion, but these are usually one on one interactions.  It is a great way to get to know someone.  To me, small groups are good and large groups stress me out.  I am not "afraid" of large groups anymore than an extrovert is "afraid" of being alone, I am just uncomfortable and avoid them.  Can I force myself to be in large groups?  Yes, but I am not happy doing it.

I don't consider myself to be self-absorbed any more than an extrovert considers themselves to be dependant on being around other people.  We just have a different way of looking at life.  I seem to find myself around people that have to "fill the silence" with incessant babble.  Small talk is one thing but another is to ramble on about nothing.  It drives me up the wall.  Introverts are the opposite and don't talk much at all.  Has anyone heard the term "silence is golden"?

I was given two ears and one mouth.  I try to listen way more than talk (not always successful if I know you well).  By listening, I know what I already know and then know (probably more than I wanted) what the speaking person knows.  I enjoy talking (and listening) to good company even if the conversations wanes into silence.  Sometimes it is great to just sit there and stare into a campfire without a word being said and enjoy the moment.  When there is a small group, the conversations can be quite good as well as the staring into the campfire.  

Thank you MrNoodly for "Legion of Loners, the social club of the Institute of Introverts".  LOL  I may have to use this if I can remember it.
Brian

2000 Roadtrek 200 Versatile "The Beast" (it has been tamed hopefully)  I feed it and it doesn't bite me.
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#39
(05-31-2016, 10:29 AM)arctic cat Wrote: Some people suffer from certain diseases such as PTSD, while I can socialized with people at times, I keep to myself for your protection as well as mine.   I do take offense at the "little too asorbed too concerned for with self" comment.  Maybe it take to do 6, one year each combat tour to understand that, something that you probably haven't done.   I do socialized with people and even tell great jokes and make people laugh, I just can't do it for extended period of times.  Trying to make fun or insulting other with a diseases I don't believe is a way to go, my friend. Fortunately we lived in great country with freedom of speech where you can express your opinion and your upinion is respected.  Opinions BTW are like buttholes, we all got one of those, right?   That and $3 get us a cup of coffee. Have wonderful day my friend!!! Heart

NOBODY IS TALKING ABOUT DISEASES.....See, that is the problem with being self-absorbed....you cannot take everything personal....My statement was not a reference to you and what ever issues you have.

CLINICAL DEFINITION OF INTROVERT...

1.a shy person.
2. Psychology. a person characterized by concern primarily with his or her own thoughts and feelings
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#40
(07-02-2014, 09:58 AM)Fisher473 Wrote: Hi Guys,

I was just wondering if anyone else is having the same issues as I do. I live in my Van and I really miss someone around me. I lived with my girlfriend for over 4 years, we are still together but I felt like I needed to change my life a little and decide to go off the grid in my van.

I'm fine throughout the week as I have to work, but I am pretty lonely over the weekends. I am so use to being with her that its hard for me to take road trips by my self, now I have a free weekend where my trip to Germany got canceled and my girlfriend already made plans.

Last time I took a trip by my self I was pretty lonely and dont think I enjoyed it as much as I would with someone else.

Anyone having the same issues...perhaps because I'm fresh off the grid so I need to get over certain things.

Back to the OP, being lonely is not an issue. There will be plenty of chances to interact with others as you choose. How me or anyone else deals with our loneliness or lack thereof is our issue. 

If you find Vanlife is too lonely for you, there are many other options. Maybe start with small, short trips and see how that goes. No one else can give you a direct answer, the answer has to come from within you.

Whatever you decide I wish you the best.. Take Care....
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Sameer (05-31-2016)


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