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Broken heart by a Non-nomad
#1
Ahhh! two weeks in California, and already my heart's been broken by a non-nomad who asked me to "settle down".  Everything happened so fast, last month I was in the desert, and then came to CA for the holidays.  I met this extremely charming and charismatic man who wanted to take over my life, my heart and my soul. when I excitedly shared my summer camping experiences with him, he warned me that "when we live together you're not going anywhere".  My heart dropped. It is true that the comforts of a house and a stable place still appeal to me (especially in the winter), but what will happen when I want to hit the road next summer? When the AZ desert fills up with stars in the fall?  I just couldn't stay with him, but it's amazing how fast I fell for him, and now my heart is broken because he doesn't even want to keep in touch. He said, "What is the point"? maybe he's right.

As soon as the holidays are over I'm going back to the desert and find some healing around the campfire. Honestly, I feel lonelier now in this big city than I ever felt in the forest or the desert all these months.  Sad

RollingOm
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#2
Wow. To me he sounds like a control freak and you were brilliant in extricating yourself quickly, before things got too far. Sorry you are feeling broken hearted but I think you avoided years of grief. Good for you! ~hugs~
It's little I care what path I take,
And where it leads it's little I care,
But out of this house, lest my heart break,
I must go, and off somewhere! 
 ~ Edna St. Vincent Millay
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frater secessus (12-13-2017), RollingOm (12-07-2017), SondraRose (12-07-2017)
#3
o.m.goodness, run. His traits appear to be narcissistic. build and destroy. Narc's will suck you in -- too fast too soon. Glad you got out when you did. Campfire healing sounds about right.
Exclamation And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years. — Abraham Lincoln
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#4
You dodged a bullet! Celebrate!!!
I'd like to give myself a few negative ratings, because I am such a big meanie. The forum won't allow it. Feel free!

Cyndi (made it across the cattle guard)
http://rvlyeverafter.blogspot.com/

"I reject your reality and substitute my own."
~ Adam Savage
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RollingOm (12-07-2017)
#5
One of my nieces just divorced a guy like that -- after only a few months. He was not only a smooth talking control freak, but a liar and con man, too.
Someone wanted me to put this here: http://rollingsteeltent.blogspot.com/
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RollingOm (12-07-2017)
#6
Please copy and paste your exact sentence into a Google search:
"I met this extremely charming and charismatic man who wanted to take over my life, my heart and my soul. "

All the first page results are about men who run the gamut from merely self-centered and narcissistic to utter sociopaths. One of the hallmarks of the beginning of an abusive relationship, is the rapidity of how he/she sucks you in. If someone whom you just met feels comfortable telling you how and where you are going to live, just give it a few more weeks or months. If you're lucky, you'll walk away with no physical marks. But likely psychic marks. Let this be a cheap lesson.

Don't want to be a negative Nellie, but what you described screams "Abuser!"
Ted
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#7
Yep. Met several of those. One at Ehrenberg. After a week this female friend was telling me how to brush my teeth and when to eat. Control turns into abuse. Run ! Run!
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RollingOm (12-07-2017)
#8
Abusive or controlling aside, finding someone that fits into your life includes finding one that fits in to your life style. In my case that can be hard because finding someone that I find attractive, is gay and attracted to me out here in the middle of no where is a pretty tall order. Add in pooping in a bag and it gets to be even harder.
Sparky created, (Sparkles on some Saturday nights)  Max the Wonder puppy approved

2011 Ameri-lite 25 ft bunkhouse with 750w of solar and a 675 Ah bank
2003 Ford Expedition with 435w of tilting solar.
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The following 5 users say Thank You to jimindenver for this post:
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#9
(12-07-2017, 10:40 AM)WalkaboutTed Wrote: Please copy and paste your exact sentence into a Google search:
"I met this extremely charming and charismatic man who wanted to take over my life, my heart and my soul. "

Don't want to be a negative Nellie, but what you described screams "Abuser!"
Ted

You're all right on the dot. I was feeling I was loosing myself, and loosing my smile. Now that I'm out of there my smiles are coming back, and most important I'm gaining back my peaceful heart. Thank God my healthy instincts told me to get away. This experience, however, helps me to see that although I'm a nomad and I like my solitude, I also need human interaction, and a human touch, but not the kind of company he offered  Confused

I thank you all for your support, and I thank Bob for this forum where I find support and encouragement.  God bless!

RollingOm
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#10
(12-07-2017, 02:32 PM)RollingOm Wrote: You're all right on the dot. I was feeling I was loosing myself, and loosing my smile. Now that I'm out of there my smiles are coming back, and most important I'm gaining back my peaceful heart. Thank God my healthy instincts told me to get away. This experience, however, helps me to see that although I'm a nomad and I like my solitude, I also need human interaction, and a human touch, but not the kind of company he offered  Confused

I thank you all for your support, and I thank Bob for this forum where I find support and encouragement.  God bless!

RollingOm

I've grown to see that in life, these three things are needed as a foundation for broad happiness....

- my health
- a companion that is my deepest best friend for every kind of intimacy
- and her health

With that, everything else is possible in accordance to ones own authentic passions and interests.
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The following 1 user says Thank You to free2enjoy for this post:
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