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Room for Two and a Half
#1
Things are moving ... slowly ... but moving.  The house is up for sale tomorrow, the real estate photographer has his done his job.  Unless the universe decides to derail me, I could be on the road in three months, maybe sooner if I can amass some savings to tide me over until my Social Security arrives.

But, a new wrinkle(?) ...

My oldest (21 year old) daughter wants to come with me.

Don't get me wrong, I love my kids deeply, I just wonder how she's going to take to this lifestyle, and how I am going to accommodate the extra mass with already limited space.

I'd already planned on taking both of the family dogs, but they don't require much.  Measuring them as half a person is really an over estimate.

She, my daughter, has inherited much of her make-up from me, and has the spirit of a gypsy.  I think she'd do well.  And, I can make space.  But, clearly it presents new challenges [some not listed] that I hadn't counted on.

I covet the thoughts and wisdom of those in similar circumstances.  How'd it go?  Do your kids still speak to you?  Smile
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#2
I'd be thrilled for any of my three crops of spawn to want to spend time with me in any circumstances, something to be grateful for and speaks to you being an especially good father, good work!

I would just add a tent to the mix, and maybe a popup shower/WC shelter as well.

And maybe budget for occasional motel rooms to help spread out once in a while get everything re-organized.

Be prepared for her to go her own way at any time, maybe plan on a loosely connected itinerary.
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NoMadYesHappy (01-03-2018)
#3
She's 21... she could get her own van and equip it accordingly, That way she can follow you or go her own way. How will she support herself? I was out on my own at 16, I realize guys are different, but, we had an "18 & out" policy in our house growing up. My son and grandkids are welcome to come see PapaJohn anytime they want... that's what hotels are for. Maybe I'm a bad dad
I'm never lost... I'm exploring alternative destinations.  Rolleyes
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NoMadYesHappy (01-03-2018), bullfrog (01-02-2018)
#4
Whatever combination of my ex-dependents that can are going to have to support & likely physically take care of me in my twilight years (if I don't go out with a bang first) so I don't mind helping out within reason as I can while they're getting started.

At least until I see any signs of substance issues, then they've truly got to get sorted on their own, or stay away.

But all twelve (various permutations) know my means are pretty limited, and the adult ones usually pay me back pretty quickly.
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NoMadYesHappy (01-03-2018)
#5
After reading the previous posts I began to think that your daughter may be considering the nomad life, and travels with you may be something of a revelation for her. We can agree on the benefits of a buddy system of traveling, and I can only imagine the joy that would be with you two, each with their own van, set up to their own specs, traveling together & living the good life. All the best to you both!
Cheers, Rick
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NoMadYesHappy (01-03-2018)
#6
I get the concern. This is your adventure. When I decided to do this, my mom voiced her wishes to come along. However, her idea of roughing it is no room service. She quickly changed her mind. If she had decided, I would have put a time limit on it. I love mom, but I'm doing this for me. You might try that with the daughter, give her a time limit, 30 days, 60 days, whatever. If she wants to continue after that, it's on her. But this is your retirement and your turn. I don't think it's about being a good or bad parent, it's more about what you need. Good luck.
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NoMadYesHappy (01-03-2018)
#7
Nope.

Make her work for 40 years, then she can go.

Tongue
Never trust a camp cook with lots of shiny new pans...
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closeanuf (01-03-2018), NoMadYesHappy (01-03-2018)
#8
My 19 year old wanted to come with me and my answer was this I need for me. I told her no because at that age she wants her friends and to be on the phone all the time. She text me everyday. I do not feel like a bad parent because parents need time for theirselves. As somebody else suggested have her get a van and caravan with you that way. 24/7 on the road together in small spaces can eventually get to you both and then it isn’t fun anymore.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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closeanuf (01-03-2018), NoMadYesHappy (01-03-2018)
#9
Thanks for all the replies!

I think all of the thoughts expressed here have been inside my own head on one side of the discussion or another.

I like the idea of her having her own "rig", it helps build her own sense of independence and allows for us each to have have our own space. She is very much a recluse like her father, and if she can settle into a way to provide for her own needs, it provides her the same freedom that is part of my own draw to the lifestyle.

But, to start, it's two gas tanks to feed.

Having a single rig either requires some sort of supplementary space like a trailer or a larger vehicle like a class C. Both come with a similar hit to the gasoline budget.

I think at the very least I am about 3 months away from being able to pull the trigger. It would take that long for Social Security to arrive after I've applied. I'd need that to make any of this work. So, I have time to consider the options. Who knows, she may find the love of her life and opt to go the more traditional route.

In any case, I very much appreciate all of your insights. I find it reassuring to know that the contents of my own head seem to be well rounded enough for the sake of the decision.

THANK YOU! Smile
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bpdchief (01-05-2018)
#10
I believe you can still apply 6 months before your birthday for Social Security and it starts like clock work, at least it did for me!
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