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This Is For the Ladies
#1
I have been in and out of this lifestyle all my life. Bought a new van in 1972 and lived out of it, while climbing, for a long time. I have been there and done that. I see a trend happening which is causing me a lot of trouble. Women who are on their own and scared. Minimal income and few choices. Folks who are encouraging them to give up everything and assume this lifestyle. I think that is the height of callousness. I care deeply about people and I can't sit by any longer and not issue a word of caution. Lots of ladies have been successful at this way of life, but I fear many more haven't. This is based on personal contacts over time. To the women who are considering this way of life I would ask you to go slowly. Get your information from as many different sources as you can. Take your time. Don't rely on anyone who has an agenda, who can profit from your situation. Be very, very careful of offers to " help " you. Above all do not travel to a place where you have been promised help. Anything you need to learn or know about living this way is available where you are. You can find it, and if not, there are ladies and gentlmen here who are willing to help you find it. Please know there are good people here, and some not so good people. Just like the real world. The problem is trying to figure out which is which. Some of the ladies who are here and know of what I speak will step up and help and they will chime in. PM and email is a good way for that to happen. Please take care, Michael
East of the moon  West of the sun
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The following 2 users say Thank You to owl for this post:
Starting My Own Journey (09-30-2014), Sunny1 (09-28-2014)
#2
The wise owl has spoken, and I would second every word of it.

For me, the most important thing is my instinct. No matter what, no matter who, if I do not feel comfortable, I will move on. But then, I do not park stealth. Guess in three quarters of a century I must have learned..... something.

Stay safe.

Lifey
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#3
(12-13-2013, 04:52 AM)Lifemagician Wrote: The wise owl has spoken, and I would second every word of it.

AMEN!!
"Good Times & Good Friends Make Life Better!" Big Grin
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#4
Thank you Guys for those words. I am a single lady. I am quite capable! And staying put until I am outfitted and ready to roam. I want to travel all over the place but this time patience wins!
Traveling with Todd, My Dog. In Joan, My gigantic Van. Champion Of Love,
~Alla.
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#5
Smart.

Owl is a voice sorely missed.
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#6
I would mostly agree with Owl, there are meanies about everywhere in the world. But I wouldn't discount all offers of help straight-away. When I first got into Van Dwelling, Bob (the owner of this forum and totally awesome dude) offered to help me with some things, if I showed up wherever he happened to be. I took him up on his offer. I can't say I wasn't worried he might turn out to be a creeper, or something worse, but I made contingency plans and we met in a parking lot near his campsite first, so I felt safe enough. Of course he turned out to be a wonderful guy, and was and still am very very grateful for his help.

I'd also add, the RTR (at the top of this page under 'Gatherings' for more info) is an amazingly wonderful place to come learn more about the lifestyle, give it a try, etc. I'd definitely encourage women to come to the event, they won't be completely alone, there are lots of women there.

Also, Owl, I would feel incomplete if I didn't mention that your comments here could be taken as patronizing to women. I'm not saying you were trying to be patronizing, and I'm not saying you are patronizing with this post either. I'm just saying some people could take what you said that way from a certain perspective. Why do I say that? Because your writing could come across as a man telling a woman what to do. In general I've found most people (of all genders) don't appreciate being told what to do.
 .·:*¨¨*:·.   .·:*¨¨*:·.   .·:*¨¨*:·.
Full-timer > 2 years.
Generally in the Western U.S.
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cyndi (09-27-2014)
#7
youno peacetara I kinda of took it that way too(patronizing) and I am a male. glad I wasn't the only one. basically I believe everybody needs to be cautious male and female. highdesertranger
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#8
Wise advice that can work for male or female, thank you.
[Image: cl-1225056519.jpg]
1983 Chevy G20 "Bebe"
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#9
Were I to end up on the road alone, I am not sure that I would mind to a bit of patronizing. Women my age (especially widows or recent divorcees) are statistically less savvy about mechanical things or about plumbing, electrical work, or carpentry. We are generally smaller and physically weaker than our male counterparts. Again, statistically, we have a lower income, which makes it harder for us to recover from a financial hit if we make a mistake. Our families are also more likely to give us a hard time about life on the road alone and to react in a judgmental way instead of a supportive way. I think I am OK with a little patronizing attitude as long as there is some helpful action that goes with it.
Jean, with hubby and Whiz, the sort-of-bichon, in a 2008 32 ft Gulfstream Independence with a Ford Fiesta dinghy.
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The following 4 users say Thank You to jeanontheroad for this post:
Ms Linda (08-23-2017), ryegal (10-17-2015), dragonflyinthesky (09-28-2014), Patrick46 (09-27-2014)
#10
Smart, real, and pragmatic post jean.

I don't read the OP's words as patronizing. I do read genuine concern.
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The following 3 users say Thank You to AltTransBikes for this post:
Ms Linda (08-23-2017), slow2day (10-01-2014), dragonflyinthesky (09-28-2014)


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