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66 years old and want out.
I am a provider. Retired but not able to quit. The skills I have allow me to make 240 bucks for sitting on my ass per day. My immediate family has grown used to me being the overall provider which i always have been. Yes my fault but for the love of my family have not been able to convert them over to self sustaining individuals. We live in a house we are buying in San Francisco before not feeling sorry for me the mortgage is out pacing my ability to fund it. The classic "white knuckle" syndrome is beginning to show . I love my sig other but she is a no show with any type of financial offerings. Our oldest son is moving to Chicago and our youngest
is drug induced gamer with no signs of getting on with his life. I could see selling and getting the 800k splitting it and moving on
Not expecting anyone to pity me but what would you do?
I'd insist on being happy, whatever it took. It sounds like you've done your part in taking care of everyone else. Now it's time for you to take care of you.
Bob
Adrian, This is my third attempt to write a post to respond to you as i do not want to say the wrong thing on such a important matter.
Here goes.
For now, first time your youngest son,the wife, and you are together in same room i'd roll a tsunami over them and tell them you're going to sell the house, buy a RV, (or just use the set-up you have) and hit the road and truly attempt to be both Happy and Healthy.
You will find out how/what the wife feels for your future together. Does she work now and just leaves it to you or is she always been a homemaker. To me that makes a difference. Maybe she feels in a rut too but does'nt know what to do or say about it? Especially the sons situation.

Your son needs a swift kick in the butt. He's not doing himself any long term benefits. How old is he? You saying both the house and you will not be there would be a huge wake-up call.

With all due respect you have done your shift at work. It's your time now.

Time waits for no one
No favors does he
Time waits for no one
And he won't wait for me


This post is worth 2 cents. Wish you the best.
Wow. So hard to say without having known you and your family for a long time. My ex has a very different version of our life together than the version I have. I guess what I'm saying is the old adage that it takes two, neither are innocent, and there are two sides to this.

However, you have the right to pursue happiness. Have you talked to your wife about what you want to do? The value of a person is not based on finances, so don't overlook what she brings to the table in other ways. She may be as miserable as you are. Maybe some marriage/couple counseling? How many years have you invested in your lives together? Is it worth it to you to salvage it? How old is your son? If he's over 18, boot his ass out. Harsh? Yes, but it will force him to wake up and get his act together. Then he can always conditionally move back in if necessary once he's had a wake up call and is getting things together.

This is a huge decision which will greatly alter the lives of 4 people and probably more in lesser ways. You probably shouldn't be asking for advice from a bunch of people you've never met, even tho there are many awesome folks on here. There's just no way we can properly advise you on this since we have very little information and don't know both sides of the story. Opinions are like a**holes right?

I apologize if I'm sounding coldhearted or uncaring, as that is not the case. I think you need to get some professional help or at the very least sit down and talk with your family and lay out the options.

My prayers are with you. Please keep us posted as to how things progress.
Start with honest dialogue. They might not even realize your feelings or know how serious it is.

If you are the provider, then you ultimately should get to decide what to do about the mortgage but it affects your spouse too, so lay out options and tell them you want their thoughts (well..the spouse..the son doesn't need a say). If you spouse wants to keep it, then its time for someone besides you to contribute.

But even then you still might not be happy if you want to travel fulltime and truly retire, tell em.
Yes, communicating your thoughts and feelings with your wife is the first step. If you really want to retire, then she needs to know that so that she can decide if she is ready for the changes that go with that. You may be surprised; she may be ready for some changes also.

Please don't wait and be silent until you blow from the stress and make decisions that you will regret. Your happiness is very important, regardless of what you eventually decide to do. Talk now.

Best wishes to you.
Don't take a druggy on the road with you. Sell the house, rent an apartment, then with everyone housed, you move on.
If your SgOr has kept your house, cooked your meals, raised your babies, then SgOr has done as much as for you, if not more, then you did for SgOr.
As the saying goes, if you keep doing the same thing, you will get the same results. At this point, you need to do something very different. That would be to make YOURSELF happy, instead of trying to make others happy. You're not really making them happy, by the way. They are simply "content" with the status quo, but I can't imagine your wife or kids actually happy. I'm guessing they are people who are naturally discontent and miserable in life. You cannot make others happy. I learned that the hard way myself. I've tried to make others happy in the past. Doesn't work. Those who are un-happy in life with eventually bring down those who are happy. You as a "happy" person cannot bring up an un-happy person. Again, I've tried more than once over the years. Doesn't work. Do yourself a favor with whatever years you have left to live on this planet. Un-chain yourself so you can be *more* happy in life. I get the feeling you are only half-way happy, you could be so much more happy just being on your own with no dependents. At your age, you don't need dependents. You're not supposed to have anymore dependents at this point in your life.
Go for a walk or go by yourself for a coffee in a quiet place. Take a notepad and pen along. REach deep into your own thoughts and feelings.

(That said, if it were me, I'd sell and use that money.)
Jane is a mosaic artist works with children and does public projects here in San Francisco. She has no interest or knowledge of what money is and how to get it, only when she has none does it matter. She has lost a lot of girlfriends because of her in-discrepant spending habits. Basically a good person lacking basic survival skills. We got married 25 years ago this October on a street car. I know this is bothering her. I am not a prize but I am a survivor. We are not in an abusive relationship, right now it's like ships in the night passing and not seeing each other. I will be on the road all October driving some 4700 miles to Chicago and back. Some final time with my oldest (22 year) son. My younger son is 20.
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