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Read a post recently mentioning that we on this website are here to "alleviate your fears" I thought about that, and it just didnt sit right with me. Some things shouldent be feared or stressed, but some things really should be. Making a huge life altering decision is something that shouldent be done without a LOT of forethought, considerations, and planning. I think we can be a very good resource in those considerations, but fear isnt always a bad thing... in fact most times its very very good to have some fear...

Back in my counseling days I read a book that influenced me greatly.. it was called "The Gift of Fear" it outlined how our instincts are right more often than their wrong, and when it comes to warrentless fears were much better off listening to those fears as we might not rationally pick up on subconcious cues of impending violence but the lizard part of our brains caught a whiff of pherimone, or registered an important jump in volume in the argument going on near by.

I would recomend to anybody planning to hit the highway and live on the road to listen to your fear, if you get the sense you should GTFO of an area or situation and you really cant place exactly why, dont push it aside... GTFO you might be really REALLY glad you did... (Side Note: I have a 60 stich scar just above my left eye because I didnt listen to that impulse)

heres the link...

And I suggest you read the comments after the short description...
I had 5 major life events in a 2 year period ,when it was over(Please no more for now!!) everything that was normal became a challenge.......I,m 54 !!!!!

I was on the road, my friends & family knew nothing of my motorhome was parked in the hospital parking lot so within reason it was safe....but I walked into the hospital and left to there parking lot 3 months later in pretty bad shape....made national news , I was infected with a nasty Virus by a rogue technician in there Cath lab and before it was over I had to have a quad bypass and 9months of chemical therapy to halt the virus!!!....and to make things worse the problems I had when I walked in cannot be addressed because they feel I wouldnt survive the surgery!!
Needless to say the drugs and side effects destroyed normal...

I had to learn to walk , eat, dress all over again.....Fear in the beginning is intense , but your mind really has the answers.....

Im still out here!!!.....Look at fear as a step up!!!......and know once you face it , its nothing more than you challenging yourself.
Fear is such a powerful and important force in our lives the single most important thing most of us can do is come to grips with it.

I totally agree with Blue that fear is not the enemy to be hated or killed. In fact it can be either a wonderful ally or terrible task-master.

My advice has always been to make friends with your fear, to embrace it and talk to it. Reassure it when it is holding you back and listen to it like your life depends on it when it is strong and pure.

The problem is being able to tell the difference between the two and that is a journey we all have to make for ourselves.
I, personally, have ALOT of fears.

If I paid heed to all of them, I'd end up locking mysself in the closet cowering.

...but I HAVE learned to listen to the loudest of them, and these are probably the most important ones (for me) anyways.

If I DID listen to all of my fears, I'd never give myself the chance to reach any of my dreams...and I have ALOT of dreams to fulfill! (heck, this is partly why I'm on this forum in the first place!!)

Gotta get out there and live folks!! Big Grin
Fear is a great thing.... It lets you appreciate your other feelings and senses... In a former job, I was in fear everyday with adrenaline, but expressing my fear would not fly.... I did get out of that job before it had serious consequences on my health and family...
I live with the old adage now.. Everything in moderation....
I don't like fear, fear scares me.
I'm not afraid of much, except big spiders. I'm not trying to be cute here. Some people like me are just plain lucky. I won't even go into all the stuff I have been involved with just because I don't see bad people or bad situations. I did read the gift of fear, I need to reread it. It helps anyone, especially someone who doesn't recognize potential threats.
(02-10-2014, 12:56 PM)flying kurbmaster2 Wrote: [ -> ]I don't like fear, fear scares me.

Lol nice, and yeah Bob the hard thing is figuring out which is which...

But I recently dated a girl with a panic disorder, she didn't sop being afraid, and invented ghosts, evil spirits, and clairvoyant powers to justify those baseless fears... not everybody's brains work the same.
I read the Gift of Fear and some other of Gavin De Becker's books. The Gift was possibly the most helpful book I've ever read. I own the book as part of my very small library.