You Ain't Right Club

[Cammalu]

Chicken feet. Never saw them labeled as paws....

[GotSmart]

You started it.  Not my fault!  

This really aint right!

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor. She was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got them all back in.

(This post was last modified: 09-04-2017, 06:39 PM by GotSmart.)

[Cammalu]

Oh hells bells you sicko!!!! Bwahahaha


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[highdesertranger]

Mr. Smart you ain't right. you made me spit my beer out, luckily I turned my head just enough to miss my laptop. highdesertranger

[GotSmart]

Mr. Smart you ain't right.  you made me spit my beer out,  luckily I turned my head just enough to miss my laptop.  highdesertranger

WOOHOOO!!!   YES!  

First one!   

Happy Dance!

[Snikwahjm]

Well I might not be right. My grand kids have a pogo thing out in the yard so I asked a kid how it worked. He didn't know so in my smartness, I volunteered to demonstrate how to use a pogo. After all I could do that and walk up and down steps on stilts I made out of old packing crates found behind the furnature store when I was a kid... I must have had a real brain fog. You watch this... I pogoed a couple times, hit something uneven and pogoed right backwards hitting my head on the edge of the concrete in the speed of light. So the kid says, "Grandma, are you all right?" Of course I ain't right.... that was 2 weeks ago. That headache just wouldn't quit. Then my shoulder decided not to move. Hhhhmmmmm ER or massage lady. I ain't right I went to massage lady. She did fix the head ache but the shoulder spasms started up as soon as I went to bed. I take care of my elderly parents.... yup I really ain't right... anyway I put a vinegar compress on my shoulder hopping for the best figuring I'd be the only one offended... yup I forgot about the therapist that comes to the house. Well she got in here and asked what that awful smell was. She about died laughing at the idea of me pogoing and then putting vinegar on my shoulder. Anyway she said she could fix my shoulder and she did. Then she worked on Mom. Toast to the occupational therapists that make house calls... root beer anybody?

(This post was last modified: 09-04-2017, 07:12 PM by Snikwahjm.)

[Cammalu]

That ain't right! Grandma on a pogo stick? Aw hell no! Lol


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[rvpopeye]

Bathes In Rootbeer
I accept that root beer , do you deliver??

I guess you learned what you shouldn't do but it still "Ain't Right" that you did.
One "Stinkin' Badge" for admitting it on the YARC , well done !
ALSO  
While reading through the whole thread the other day I just remembered you said you had read all the way through too.
I hereby authorize you to add ROOIRIA to your award listing.
(Royal Order Of I Read It All)

Anyone else ?

Badgernator
1 "Stinkin' Badge" for Bathes In Root Beer and your comments on that joke as I know you are just waiting to.

Good , NO excellent "Ain't Right" joke !

[attachment=15499]

All my pirate jokes together pale in comparison !
(That doesn't mean I won't post them though.)

Monkeyfoot
I couldn't see the pic? you just posted ?

Anyone else ? or just me.......

NEVERMIND !
I just went back to the last page and found them.

Everybody should do this , I noticed a lot of missed posts when I read through that were posted while I was writing a post.

(This post was last modified: 09-04-2017, 07:59 PM by rvpopeye.)

[Snikwahjm]

Nope I'm too tied down to deliver root beer but I did post a recipe a while back. See window #635
GotSmart, i laughed so hard I was afraid I might wake my Dad. He's ssssoooo deaf... I'm so glad I wasn't drinking any rootbeer.
ROOIRIA Accepted.
Badge accepted. Do I just clip a notch in it?

(This post was last modified: 09-04-2017, 08:53 PM by Snikwahjm.)

[rvpopeye]

She Who Must Be Obeyed just poked a bullet hole with a small nail (I think).