You Ain't Right Club

[GotSmart]

OK ~~~  Folks, we have a delema here.  The Beast Master has shown fear.  Does he lose a badge, or gain an Oak Leaf Cluster for climbing a tiny tree?  

Scott7022
Camping with a buddy in Tweedsmuir National Park. We have an argument about tent placement as it is raining and miserable, and he goes to his camp and I go to mine. I pitched my tent near some scrub pine and in the shadow of larger trees. He argued the potential for water accumulation was too great and went to higher ground. We were not happy campers. Early night for all. 

Something moves my tent and I wake up. I immediately think it is my buddy screwing with me, grab my three cell Mag light. (before the days of expedition weight thinking)
I plan to blind him, as it is a moonless night and pitch black out. 
He moves around my tent. Slowly making little noises. A cup falls, twig snap, huffing sounds. I think he is doing a good job. 
10 minutes later I think I might have a problem. 
"KEEIITTH!!! Are you messing (I used a different word) with me. I swear I will stab your stupid ***." 
I hear movement away from the tent and then Keith. "WTF I am sleeping. Are you flooding like I told you?" His voice is too far away.
BEAR!! Goes through my head, and I yell it. I have a plan, calming down slightly, (pre bear spray days) I have this big knife and my flashlight.
"I am coming." I hear Keith yell. Gripping both my knife and flashlight, and attempting to open the tents zipper was impossible so I slipped the knife into the mesh fly at the top and ran it like a zipper to the bottom and flipped on my light. 
Black nose!
Big brown head with silver white eyes!!
For some stupid reason my hand was moving, bringing the flashlight off my shoulder in a arc. An arc that ended on that BIG BLACK NOSE! 
SPULOTCH!!!

I was running, in my underwear, and I no longer had my flashlight or my knife. It was dark, except for a beacon of white light that was moving in sweeping arcs to my left.
TREE!!

I slammed face first into my savior and like a twerking beaver on methamphetamine I dry humped my way up that tree. 
Keith entered my campsite and swung the light around. "What the hell are you doing?" He said, as his light reached me. 
I was about 15 feet up a young pine, it's diameter a little larger than a flag pole. Swaying and sprinkling blood from my ravaged thighs, I couldn't answer anything past bear. 
Keith looked around, found my flashlight, knife, and the tracks of a very large brown bear. He hadn't seen it leave and, when I joined him on the ground, we only found prints to the creek. 

The take away is most of the time you'll be just fine. 
Your plans are a copping mechanism. In reality as Gunny has pointed out if your training is good enough it will be like a dream of skill application, assessment, and adjustment until it is over or you are over. But in this case the Beast Master of the you ain't right club got Tyson'd. "A plan is only good until you get punched in the face" Total fear panic response with accompanied little girl screams and new shorts! 
Billy goats freak me out, Gary. Anything that has eyes that look like Satan's brother just ain't cool.

Beast Master in the You Ain't Right Club

My biggest question is where has he seen a twerking beaver on methamphetamine?