You Ain't Right Club

[Scott7022]

Monkey business reminded me of a monkey not right story.

We were in Zambia near Victoria Falls, or the smoke the rumbles, as they say in the local dialect. It was stinking hot and twice as humid. A group of us were sitting out drinking some Zim beer (imported). I was wearing short black shorts and I guess was airing out the boys a little more than is polite in public. It was after sunset and the lights were dim, perhaps romantic dim. The locals really didn't care about such things and there was no women folk to offend or make laugh. So I stand up to grab another beer and this hand grabs the low hanging fruit. I am a little shocked and I look down and this Vervet monkey has a hold of me with a remarkably strong little hand. He drags out the package and is just staring at my family jewels. Everyone is laughing and I draw my pistol. My wise friend says; "Captain if he don't die instantly he will turn your manhood into poe. (like mashed potatoes, but made with corn flour) No worries man he has just never seen a white set before, ours are black and his are blue." Sure enough the little bugger is looking at mine and then his in the porch lite. Then he looks up at me bares his teeth and scurries off up a tree. "Why did he bare his teeth?"
"Their balls get bluer as they get less action. To be so white you must have all the girls." To which the entire crew is laughing so hard they can no longer drink beer!
The indignities I've suffered for education...

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