You Ain't Right Club

[Scott7022]

The tongue to the rail...Cue Jim Carrol, Catholic Boy. Pull up the camp chairs.

Special Service Force winter survival training. I am about 19, just if I remember. We are up in the Canadian Arctic. I am getting the gears for rotating in during the bad segment. No one likes cold weather training. So we are drinking in the junior ranks mess and a dare goes up for anyone to lick the post. It is nighttime and as cold as the ice queen's toilet. Being young, dumb, and alpha orientated I step up after no one else does. I have been to Whitehorse and I know it will hurt, but the organ will eventually heat the area enough to release it. Perhaps a little frostbite, but I am not winning any awards for singing anyway. Out we all go into the dark, cold and gather around the pole. It has signs at the top pointing to tropical destinations. I stick out my tongue and as I am about to touch the pole some goof pushes me. My face hits the pole tongue, lips, nose and chin. They all instantly stick.
A female starts laughing; "Men are as stupid as they are unbalanced, us the weaker speices my ass"
She had pushed me. She had some sort of male hate issue I wasn't aware of.
Shouts for a bucket of hot water went out and I silenced them with a sound one is only capable of making while one's tongue is frozen to a post. I pulled out my gear and relieved myself of several beers directly up the pole. It was in the glory days of youth when I could 'cut the puck" in half in Cuba. The liquid did its magic and I was free.
I turned and walked past the person that pushed me. "Lets see you do that."

(This post was last modified: 08-11-2017, 08:42 AM by Scott7022. Edit Reason: spe;;ing AI )