You Ain't Right Club

[Scott7022]

So this Russian super model looking woman walked into the bar I was sitting in last night. Everybody in the bar, including the piano playing octopus, stopped and stared at her. She took a seat right beside me, ordered a Whisky Sour and gazed down at the bar sadly. I asked her what was wrong. She said she was upset because she confused men. I remarked that men are easily confused and stunned by such beauty and she shouldn't take it personally. I went on to say that an octopus, on the other hand, is much harder to confuse and that I was going to try.

She blinked at me and noticed the famous Anapa musical genius octopi for the first time. "That's interesting," she said. "I too am a researcher. I have a PhD in Anthropology and another in human sexuality. I travel the world researching these topics, but men never take me seriously or they are intimidated by my open talk about sex."

"Seriously? I can't imagine that at all. My research tonight includes sexuality." I said and pointed to the bartender to refill both our glasses. "That famous octopi is said to be able to play any musical instrument in the world."

"Really? Wow, this is great! A Russian man I can talk to." Looking past me to the piano she continued.  "I just got back from North America and did you know North American Indians had the longest penises?  

I looked deeply into her liquid blue eyes. "No, I didn't."

Excitedly she continued. "Yes, it is a fact and that Polish men have the thickest. Do you find talk like this intimidating?"

I reached down into my bag and pulled from it a set of Bagpipes. "No, I don't find that intimidating at all." I tossed the bagpipes onto the Grand piano.

The octopus stopped playing. The bar went silent. The octopus yanked itself up off the bench onto the top of the piano. I and the bartender took a deep breath. The octopus grabbed the instrument and started rolling around on the top of the piano. It did this for several long seconds and then stopped. A long, sad, and forlorn note rose from the instrument.

The bartender slapped me on the shoulder and winked before saying. "See Mr. Tonto Kowalski, I told you once he figured out he couldn't fuck it, he'd play it!"