09-05-2017, 01:46 AM
(09-04-2017, 07:54 PM)rvpopeye Wrote: Anyone else ?
Badgernator
1 "Stinkin' Badge" for Bathes In Root Beer and your comments on that joke as I know you are just waiting to.
Good , NO excellent "Ain't Right" joke !
All my pirate jokes together pale in comparison !
(That doesn't mean I won't post them though.)
OK. It is a Pirate joke.
This is a story about a pirate crew who had been happily pillageing together for years. The only friction in their crew was the first mates habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
The noise would wake his crew and the smell would make their eyes water and make them gasp for air.
Every morning they would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making them sick. He told her he couldn't stop and that it was perfectly natural. they told him to see a doctor. They were concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as the cook was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was below, in his hammock sound asleep, Cookie looked at the bowl where he had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to him
He took the bowl and went below decks where the first mate was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the blanket, he pulled back the waistband of his pants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into them.
Some time later the crew heard the mate waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the head.
The cook could hardly control himself as he rolled on the floor laughing, tears in his eyes! After years of torture he reckoned he had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, the first mate came above deck in his bloodstained pants with a look of horror on his face.
Cookie bit his lip as he asked him what was the matter. He said, "Matey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.
"What do you mean?" asked the cook.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got them all back in.
ARRRGH. it be a Pirate tale fer ye!
Trouble rather a tiger in his lair than a sage at his books. To you kingdoms and armies are mighty and enduring, to him they are toys of the moment, to be overturned with the flick of a finger. G Dickson.