You Ain't Right Club

[mert6706]

Picture it: Four women trying to run one campsite—my daughter, daughter’s best friend, best friend’s mother, and I, all fighting for control. You know there ain’t a woman alive don’t feel the need to be in control of every little detail of everyone else’s behavior. So, after an endless drive listening to the other mom  “slow down, watch out, there’s a stop sign ahead” etc. etc. we finally arrive at dusk, needing to set up in a hurry before full dark. Mrs. Yadayadayada: “You’re not going to put your tent over there, are you? 'Yeah, why not?” "Well, shouldn’t we be side by side?” “Why?” I ask, not hiding my irritation. I waited for the “because I say so” but give her credit for at least not saying it. Only time she shut up was when she was asleep. Next morning: I gotta get outta here. Made up an excuse for going to town, a 30 mile drive of blessed silence—wrong! Daughter’s best friend: “Where ‘ya goin’?” “To town, need a couple things.” “Do you want some company?” She’s not as bad as her Mom; even enjoy her conversation sometimes, so I say “Well, okay.” “Well good, you can take my Mom along. I want to sit and read my book.” Oh shit! Out maneuvered! When will I learn?! I’m stuck with yadayadayada again! Does she shut up on the drive to town, even though I’m not saying a word, not even responding? Hell, no! Tells me how to drive, where to turn, where to park, what to buy, etc. etc. Long story short, when I get back to camp and daughter’s friend wants to know “Where’s my Mom?” I say “Mom, what Mom? I don’t know nuffin ‘bout no Mom.” The End. 

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it. Don’t tell me that ain’t right, ‘cause you’d have cracked, same as me.