You Ain't Right Club

[jacqueg]

Welcome Josh,
Being at home and helping your parents in a place you don't want to be is stressful, but see it for what it is. Temporary.

Get a calendar and set a day for your departure, and count the days down. That will give you something to look forward too.
Keep off the booze, and don't drink with mom, it is not helping neither of you. You are a pro, you know it doesn't take much to become totally hooked on the booze, you have seen it.

While you are at it, pick a place you want to be, and check the job possibilities there.
It is bad now, but the bad (as well as the good) does not last for ever. Instead of wallowing in the depths of misery look ahead to better days.
We are here for support if you need it. You WILL be fine.

Great advice, Sofi.

And Josh? I've been there. I always had a difficult relationship with my mom, but for the last 6 months of her life, I elected to go live with her and my developmentally disabled brother, so she could stay in her house for as long as possible. Someone needed to be the responsible adult. Neither age nor advanced Alzheimers had mellowed her out. And because I couldn't leave them for any length of time, it was a lot like being in prison. Not a bit fun.

Still, I'm glad I did it, and I was glad at the time. Whatever her failings, she spent a lot of years keeping me warm, fed, safe, and healthy, when she would rather have been doing something else, and I strongly felt I was repaying a karmic debt. The trick is to refuse, as much as possible, getting drawn into the family theater. You know who you are, and you are no longer that kid who had to navigate mysterious waters. It's only temporary.